I am not a pro chess player or anything, but I want to get some kind of chess title. What is the lowest ranking I can get to earn a chess title?
According to this Wikipedia entry, the lowest FIDE title is Candidate Master (CM), which requires an ELO rating of at least 2200. Obviously national chess federations offer their own titles, often with lower requirements.
A solution: Move to a country with a low rated national team and join the team in the Olympiad.
CM and WCM titles are awarded for 50% performance in at least 7 games in the Chess Olympiad, regardless of the ranking of opponents (Fide Handbook). Because the pairings are made using the Swiss system and your team mates are (hopefully) performing poorly, you get constantly paired with relatively weak opponents and you do not have to perform even close to 2200 Elo level.
For example, in the Olympiad 2012 quite a few players got >=50 % points with a performance <2000. (Note that the list behind the link is cut at 63.6 %, so it is not the whole truth. Unfortunately, the list of CM titles awarded does not contain information of performance...)
The United States Chess Federation has a title system that goes down into class play. I have the category 1 title, which I gained by getting 5 tournament performances which would be impressive for an 1800 player (norms) and achieving a rating above 1800.
The category titles correspond to the classes 1-A, 2-B, 3-C, 4-D
Above category 1 are Candidate Master for 2000 rating and norms, National Master for a rating above 2200, and Life Master for norms and rating 2200 , Senior Life Master for norms and rating 2400.