How to play with my child?

Question

I have an online rating of around 1500 and my 8-year-old daughter's playing strength is approximately 900 and she LOVES playing with me, despite losing most of the time. Here I am seeking suggestions on how I should play with her, in order to:

1. keep her interest in chess;
2. help her to improve;
3. boost her confidence in chess.

Playing strength: Should I always play with my full strength, which means she will lose almost all the games that I play with her, or should I play while doing other things, such as watching videos (and thus lower my playing strength)? My child sometimes requests me to get distracted so that she has a better chance of winning/drawing. Also, should I purposely blunder occasionally and see if she knows how to take advantage of it?

Opening Choice: Should I stick to one or two mainstream openings, or should I play various types of openings? Should I simulate opening move frequency by using a database? For example, if so, in 20 games that I play as white, I would play nine e4 games, seven d4 games, two Nf3 games, one c4 game and one game starts with some other move. Should I play less common and slightly dubious openings, such as the King's Gambit, Danish Gambit, or Scandinavian Defence? Should I play dubious traps (which I do not normally play in a more serious game), such as Elephant Gambit and Stafford Gambit?

Draw Offer: Should I accept draw offer when there are still multiple pieces and pawns on the board, while the position is objectively equal, or should I keep playing?

Analysing Games: Should I record all the games that we play and analyse them with her? I tried to ask her to record the games, but she does not like it. She does not enjoy analysing games, but she is willing to do so.

Coach: Should I hire her a coach, or is myself good enough for her rating at this moment?

Answer 1

Children (and people in general) learn in different ways. It seems what you want is that both yourself and your daughter will maintain interest. If you distract yourself in order to maintain interest that seems to me not a good idea, if not a little rude. If she loses nearly all the time she may improve but may eventually become dispirited (who enjoys getting beaten all the time?).

My suggestion is to modify the technique of Dr Siegbert Tarrasch in his 'The Game of Chess' wherein he started his teaching from the Endgame rather than from the Opening.

In your situation I would start by setting up the board with say K+Q+Q (ie white) v k (ie black) where you play black. You try to hold out as long as possible, she to avoid stalemate! Vary the starting positions. After she learns to crush you quickly move to positions like K+Q+R v k then K+R+R v k, K+Q v k, K+Q+N v K and so on.

Then positions where the defender black has a piece or two.

Include K and pawns v k and pawns. The choices are myriad.

Eventually you set up positions where you both have chances to win. And you will need to try harder! And your daughter will learn the capabilities of the pieces and all the elementary ways of checkmating you!

Answer 2

Why don't you just use the old-fashioned device of material odds? At the level she is at, Queen odds should be good. You will have to exert yourself and she will feel great satisfaction in beating you. Reduce the odds when she beats you more than 60% of the time. Something like that.

Answer 3

Another natural handicap that I haven't seen another player mention is time controls. When I have played against Kindergarten students (and I expect that there's a similar gulf in rating between me and these students as there are between you and your daughter), the 5 year old gets essentially infinite time while I have to play 0:15 + 1.

This is my favourite handicap because I don't need to follow artificial or different rules, and I do not need to pick moves that I know are worse. In my experience, the children also enjoy seeing my rushed and panicked moves when they find something even a little tricky.

Answer 4

My feeling is that while exercises that do not involve actually playing games of chess can be fun for kids sometimes, if you want to her to have a good chance of remaining interested you must continue to mostly actually play chess with her. In my experience teaching many kids both younger and older than her it takes a very specific personality type to not be bored to death by endgames, for example.

I suggest you introduce "levels" for yourself as if you were a bot. Tell her there are 5 (or however many) levels. Make some rules for yourself about how you will play at each level and what kind of threats you will "see" or make. If you need some inspiration you could check out the building habits series by GM Aman Hambleton on youtube.

Then whenever she wants to play, ask her to pick what level she would like to play against. If she continues to play regularly she will work her way up to the highest level before too long.