There are many similar questions to this, like Problems with chess anxiety, or How to relax when playing chess, but though they seem to be tackling the same question, I feel like my situation is still a bit different.
To start off, playing chess in general, during games, gives me a lot of anxiety. It isn't just stress or feeling overwhelmed, but a really overwhelming anxiety I can't figure out how to get rid of. During any game of chess, my heart rate starts going really up and I can feel it pounding fast and loud in my chest the whole game, my stomach knots really uncomfortably, and I tremble a little bit. But the thing is, it's not like I'm so nervous because I'm worried about losing—not at all. I can't pinpoint why I feel so nervous. (When I lose, I have less a reaction than when I win.)
During all these games, I try to suppress the anxiety because it's affecting my gameplay, and I know that the game isn't really important, I tell myself it's a game, I'm moving pieces on a chessboard. And heck, I'm just as nervous when I play unrated games or unlimited time control. It's like the anxiety is just default.
Well yeah, that's my question. I really love chess even though I'm not very good at it; when I watch people play it on Youtube or I go through some puzzles, it's really fun, and I always wished I could play chess more freely because I do really want to, but the anxiety's holding me back and I don't know how to unblock it or what's causing it.